Humorous Mother’s Day Observations

First…if you are a mom, Happy Mother’s Day! Moms are the best.

All of those unseen and un-thanked moments when you rose up and did what needed to be done because you are mom, please know that you made the world a better place.

It can be hard to distill what a “mom” is as a figure in your life. There is an intertwining of love and craziness, nurturing and caring, and a need to grow beyond the very thing that gave you life. Nurse, driver, chef, teacher, cheerleader, and guardian, mom is that undefinable, irreplaceable character in our lives.

So, in honor of our moms, let’s take a light-hearted look at observations moms have made through their years of motherhood experiences.

Enjoy.

I’ve noticed that really GOOD moms say BAD words.

Moms should get a pass to the front of the line at the café. Seventeen year old who slept 11 hours…back of the line.

Mom’s Recipe for Iced Coffee:
 – Have kids
 – Make coffee
 – Forget you made coffee
 – Drink it cold

I’ve decided that moms require coffee stronger than their toddlers.

I have sometimes reheated my coffee in the microwave 4-5 times and then find it that evening untouched.

When I go to the playgroups and see all of these moms who can do all kinds of incredible things and I think…I should have them do stuff for me.

Good moms let you lick the frosting from the beaters, great moms turn them off first.

I decided to homeschool because I’ve seen the village and I don’t want them anywhere near my kids.

It’s weird when my Mary Poppins voice, “All right kids, bed time.” changes to my Batman voice “All right kids… bedtime!”

Most of my craziest kid’s stories start with, “So…I stepped away for like 2 seconds…”

I have no problem making a long to-do list every day…the hard part is figuring out who is going to do it.

I can’t wait till my toddlers are teens and I wake them up at 4:30 am to tell them I’m thirsty.

If I can’t get my kid’s attention, I just relax on the sofa with a chocolate bar. Problem solved.

My husband said wow…”When did you have time to mop the bathroom floor?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him the kids took a bath and I wiped the floor with a towel.

Someday when you cook all of the meals, clean all of the toilets and wash all of the clothes you can stay up late and eat the secret ice cream.

Kids…please stop petting my peeves.

Silence is golden until you have kids..and then it’s just downright suspicious.

If I can put my kid’s laundry away on the same day it is washed, it’s a good day.

Carpooling home from sports practice really hurts my nose.

It’s weird when I open my mouth and my mother’s voice comes out.

Matt Carter

Matt Carter is a retired teacher (1989-2018), part-time musician, farmer, and currently manages Greenwell Farm’s Tour and Retail Store Operations.